Atlantis Manifest
by AshtakRa
Summary: They had all survived the attack and relocation, hadn’t they? Sheppard finds that one loss is that one too many. Slash Sheppard LorneParrish
1. Chapter 1

**Atlantis Manifest**

_By AshtakRa_

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Setting: Beginning of Season Four (as a possibility)

Characters: Sheppard, McKay, Lorne/Parrish

Genre: angst with a touch of slash

Summary: They had all survived the attack and escape, hadn't they? Sheppard finds that one loss is that one too many.

Chapter One: Manifestation of Loss

It took three marines to restrain Sheppard after he slammed Colonel Ellis in the jaw, but they couldn't stop him shouting threats and accusations. What made the situation more precarious was that the Atlantis teams were sidling up and the tension in the room skyrocketed; McKay truly believed that a full on brawl might erupt between Atlantis and Apollo personnel.

In an extreme act of total unMcKay-like behavior he decided to be diplomatic and quietly suggested that Colonel Ellis should return to the Apollo – he did while Sheppard sat on the steps facing the Stargate and refusing to look in the departing Colonel's direction.

The gate-room was suddenly eerily silent, the technicians and troops standing silent, every eye on Colonel Sheppard as he finally stood up and faced McKay. A nod conveyed his thanks and allowed McKay to finally speak, "Before you think _that_ is a victory remember that we – at the moment – are reliant on the Apollo for protection," in a surprising display of affection McKay grabbed Sheppard by the arms, "And we are in no condition to either mount a rescue ourselves or _try_ and order the Apollo to do so."

John Sheppard opened his mouth to argue then hung his head in defeat; shrugging off McKay he walked to the base of the damaged wall and put his hand upon it – more to steady himself than anything else. He should have known the good news could not last – from getting to M12-578 safely to Weir being taken off the critical list. Just as they had begun repairs and started appraising the new situation the Apollo had turned up.

Colonel Ellis did not obviously know Sheppard as well as he thought since he had shrugged off the fact that Major Lorne had been MIA while searching for Atlantis and that the Apollo had not attempted a search and rescue – citing mission priorities. Ellis had not seen it coming, had not noticed that even the repair crews had gone silent on the news – and had not seen the dark look on Sheppard's face; the same look that had seen sixty Genii walk into a shield and countless other enemies meet their deaths.

He looked at the damage and shook his head again, now more than ever he had needed Major Lorne, his second-in-command who would just look at the situation with a wry grin and get on with the job. They were on a completely new world, a second war had begun and Elizabeth was alive but out of commission – McKay had surprisingly stepped up to the role of civilian administrator but it just wasn't enough. John just couldn't keep everything going by himself – he needed people around him that he could trust and rely upon, and number one on that list was Major Evan Lorne.

Lieutenant Kravell stepped up behind Sheppard, "Colonel, my team can be ready in one hour – we can scout the area and -."

Radek called out from the balcony, "I will go with them, and we can get the last gate addresses and check for Wraith activity."

Chuck was busily typing but looked up momentarily, "There are six jumpers undamaged and I have already called up the gate co-ordinates, I have also been working on a more powerful off-world scanner – it should be able to pick up Major Lorne's personal beacon from two sectors away."

"Power is minimal," said McKay, checking his computer, "But if we start rotating brown-outs we can activate the gate every fifteen minutes-."

"No," Sheppard croaked and looked around the room, his dark anger had turned to saddened pride – if only the Apollo crew had reacted in this way, but that had been two weeks ago and reality came crashing down. The fact was even if the Major was still alive the chances of finding him were next to zero – it was a big galaxy and if it had been the Wraith then he would already be dead.

"We will not give up on him – I will not give up," he continued, with every word strength seemed to pour back into the Colonel, "We have people here who need our help right now and the last thing Major Lorne would want is for more people to be put in danger."

Everyone still remained silent, awaiting his next orders, "All free teams are to be on repair duty, our priority is Atlantis – if the Wraith turned up right now we-," he hesitated and looked to Rodney, who nodded sadly – agreeing with his decision but also mourning the loss of Lorne, "Just see to the immediate problems"

Noise once again flooded the gate room as Sheppard walked out, but it was more subdued. The Apollo had broken the cardinal rule – never leave your people behind – a rule that meant more in the Pegasus galaxy and more to the people of Atlantis than any mission or military target. Sheppard had said do nothing for now – but every single person in that room knew that he would never let it go; that he would add Lorne's name to the list of people he had sworn to find and return home.

It was why they would not hesitate to follow his lead, it was why they gave him their complete loyalty and it was why they loved him.

SGASGASGASGA

Sheppard found himself in the botanical labs; he was not entirely sure why until Dr Parrish walked in and started rummaging through a shelf full of electronic equipment. He was muttering to himself and was not even aware of the Colonel until Sheppard coughed politely. The botanist jumped slightly, "Oh – Colonel, I wasn't um – just getting an atmosphere -," he held up a palm sized device – obviously Ancient in origin.

Sheppard waved down his panic, "Not important – well I'm sure its important but I don't care, well I care but there is something," John reddened as he realized how badly he was acting, "I'm just here to – think."

Parrish nodded, he of course did not see it as stupid to find a room full of plants and moss the best place to think – but he was also curious as to the why. It must have showed on his face because Sheppard let his shoulders fall and he opened up, to a scientist he hardly knew in a section of Atlantis he was not sure he had ever really looked at before.

"It seems half the time when I was trying to contact Major Lorne he was in here, obviously he found it peaceful or a good distraction – thought I'd give it a go."

Parrish moved over to what served for a desk and leant against it, "Evan told you that?"

"What?" asked Sheppard, not fully noticing that the scientist had used Lorne's first name.

"That he came here for peaceful distraction?" he said it wryly, as if the thought was completely unbelievable but John was still only half listening.

"No – I just know he was here a lot – must have liked the plants," John tapped a fern as he spoke but Parrish didn't answer, just smiled knowingly and asked a question of his own.

"I heard the Apollo turned up – you've heard from Evan then."

This time John did take more notice, the fact that Parrish had once again used Lorne's first name and the anticipation in his voice at the prospect of the Major being back. John had been through several mind-blowing encounters today so this one was just catching up with him as he squinted at the botanist, appraising the man for perhaps the first time.

"Major Lorne wasn't here just for the plants was he?" he tried to make the question non-threatening, leaving it up to Parrish whether he answered or not.

Parrish squirmed a little, "He did seem to have acquired an interest in botany lately, I was hardly going to discourage him."

Sheppard nodded sadly, no matter the reason why Parrish and Lorne had been spending time together – friendship, company or something more – Sheppard knew he had to inform Parrish of the news.

The botanist picked up on the mood, "You haven't heard from Ev- Major Lorne – have you?"

He did it quickly, not wanting to draw out the pain and exacerbate his own; he made sure to emphasize that Lorne could be, and knowing the Major, was most likely alive and finding a way to escape right at this moment.

The scientist just nodded, his eyes had begun to glisten and he turned away from Sheppard, not wanting to show how much emotion was flowing through him. Their mission was a dangerous one, he knew that and the fact was they could just as easily die from some stupid Ancient device as from the Wraith – it was just Parrish couldn't quite accept the fact that this had happened two weeks ago, and he had not once considered that it was Lorne who was in the more dangerous situation.

"I stayed here, instead of evacuating to the Apollo – if I'd gone then maybe?" Parrish managed to rasp out as he turned to face the Colonel again, knowing that it no longer mattered what he revealed. His reaction and the empathy in Sheppard's eyes meant that he did not need to spell it out; the Colonel knew, perhaps had always known in some way. The deep hollow pain of loss began snaking its way through his chest and the first sob escaped.

He could not stop the rest as Sheppard suddenly moved forward and wrapped the man in his arms, Parrish sobbed quietly as the Colonel allowed his own silent tears to run down his cheek. Parrish took a small amount of comfort not just from the Colonel's larger and stronger body but from his uniform, so close to the uniform of the man he really wanted to be in the arms of. Sheppard was just grateful he could let down his guard in front of someone, someone who did not have to see him as the strong military commander of Atlantis. Both men took comfort in the presence of another, each in their own way unable to reconcile the manner of the loss and the sudden dread it gave them.

For Parrish the thought of Evan, alone and never to know the depth of the love that the scientist had felt, hurt almost as much as knowing he may never see him again.

Sheppard knew what it was to be drained of life by the Wraith, a fact he could usually compartmentalize when it happened to countless strangers – but not to a close friend and colleague. It made him think of all those they had lost and he wanted to be sick; to admit Lorne may be dead was almost too much.

The two men though, much as they wanted to believe, knew that Major Evan Lorne had to be dead. He was not a McKay, with valuable scientific knowledge, nor was he Sheppard – someone to use as a bargaining chip. In the hands of the Wraith or in any of their countless enemies' clutches the Major would be nothing more than a liability.

They would not give up hope, but it was a very small and desperate hope.

_150 light years away, Wraith Hive Ship_

The Wraith Queen glowered down at the pathetic human, even knowing his death was imminent he still stared at her without fear and a small part of her respected this.

But that is not why she would spare his life; she had plans for this human – plans that would take time and patience.

He probably wanted death, and if not would beg for it soon enough; she lashed out and heard the satisfying crunch of breaking bone, still he did not cry out – but he would eventually.

Major Lorne held his broken forearm and wanted so much to scream in agony and frustration – but that is what she wanted and for some reason she wanted to break him before killing him. That meant if he kept control he may just live long enough for rescue.

Evan Lorne had to believe that they would rescue him, they did not leave their people behind and as the Wraith dragged him back to his cell the Major closed his eyes and pictured the two people he would most like to see right now.

One his colonel and friend, and one his scientist and lover –The door sprang shut and the lights were extinguished, and in the dark he allowed a few tears of hopelessness to fall before wiping them away and berating himself; he had to hold on to that one desperate hope that he would see them again.

He had to see them again.

Tbc…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Manifestation of Phantoms

_Atlantis – 0300 hrs Digital Data Lab_

Teyla stood in the doorway for a full five minutes before taking a seat next to John, only then did he notice her. Running a hand through scruffier than usual hair he grinned but it never reached his eyes. Teyla had noticed that a lot lately and not just from John.

"Hey."

"Hey," she answered, never having quite understood the greeting but adaptation was an important survival skill and Teyla was a survivor; they all were in their own way but such a life left marks. John's mark was his obsession with lost colleagues, nothing new, but definitely worse since they had lost Major Lorne.

He was going through hours of intelligence footage of Wraith outposts, hive ships and a hundred other photos their various contacts had provided. It was not just evidence of Lorne he looked for, others had gone missing, too many and it weighed heavily on the conscience of this man.

She could tell him he needed to rest or that he should trust that the analysts had already checked; but she did not do that.

"Could you use some help John?"

He just nodded with a grateful expression and moved a computer screen in her direction. What she would have given for just one quip or smart remark from him right now. Even they were few and far between, he barely went on missions anymore and even his arguments with Rodney were without passion.

_Wraith Hive Ship_

He sat in the dark and desperately tried to work out how many days it had been. Did it really matter any more? He had to believe it did. When not being interrogated he was kept here in the dark. He had to assume a day was the time between tortures, if the Wraith even operated on a 'daily' cycle; they were biological so it had to be a logical deduction that they did.

Thinking so fiercely on the problem had almost made Lorne forget about the constant dull ache in his arm, and in four of his fingers, and the sharp pain in his ribs every time he breathed. The Queen seemed fond of breaking bones and took the greatest pleasure in it. Although he had tried to set them with pieces of his uniform and the soul of his boot for the arm Lorne knew it was hopeless. They were going to heal slowly and badly. He figured that's why she had gone after his fingers, to stop him patching the injuries up.

She wanted not only to physically destroy him but mentally, to lose hope and give up, and then provide all the information she wanted. Was Atlantis really destroyed? What was the capability of his force? Who were their allies (like they had any)? What did they know of the Wraith? What was the exact location of Earth?

He could have told her any of the former, since it would have changed by now, but not Earth, never that and so he told her nothing. His fear was to give in just a little would be his undoing. Lorne had already followed all the exercises to at least endure the torture: compartmentalise emotion, embrace the pain and laugh at your captor.

He was failing though and had to resort to going within himself, deep down where the pain and the torment were mere echoes, but the danger was he would start to lose parts of himself if it continued too long.

The imprisonment had continued with no rescue; a week turned into two, then three and then time began to uncoil. It was like a slow moving snake, he knew something was wrong but could not pinpoint the source. Then Lorne realised he had lost count of the day, he knew which week but was it two or three days? The snake uncoiled even more and with the loss of days it soon became weeks.

Then at last the serpent was fully uncoiled and struck, he had not even a clue as to how much time had passed: days, weeks, months? The injuries helped in a perverse kind of way, the pain and various breakages letting him know it had only been weeks since his tibia had been fractured, no more than a month since his collar bone and surely only a week since every bone in is left foot.

The breaks provided another torment that was not physical pain: delusions. As the marrow seeped into his bloodstream his hold on sanity slipped. It started with just talking to himself, not so unusual since the only conversation he had was with the Wraith Queen, and they were not something he relished.

He tried singing but even Lorne had to admit his voice in tempo was a torture unto itself. Then jokes, but really he did not know any good ones; Parrish always did, botanists really could be crude after a few drinks. He filed verbal mission reports, edited of course since he was still sane enough to know the Wraith could be listening. It was a shock the first time Colonel Sheppard actually answered one report.

"Not good enough do it again," and if he squinted into the darkness Evan believed he could almost see the Colonel. He refused to talk back, knowing that this was madness. But the voices continued: Sheppard, Weir, McKay, dozens of other Atlantis personnel… but not Parrish. Perhaps his subconscious was waiting to use David as a slam dunk, as a final fall into absolute dribbling insanity.

He never answered back until one 'day' after a particularly gruelling session where the Queen had dislocated his shoulder twice, he returned to his cell and gave his report. There was no answer from Sheppard; there was no sound at all. Breathing in short pained rasps Lorne peered into the darkness, the lack of voices worse than knowing he was finally stark raving mad.

He had read the report on McKay's deep sea adventure and knew that in times of great stress even the most intelligent of people could conjure up phantoms. He had accepted that but took comfort from the fact that it was just his own mind trying to cope; if there was no more phantoms then maybe even his subconscious had given up.

"Hello," he whispered. "Somebody… please?" Lorne did not want to lose it but he felt the tears well up at his isolation; truly feeling it for the first time. Every time he woke, which was frequent since he could never sleep for long with no bed and no knowledge of when the next session would start; every time he thought 'this is it this is the day they rescue me'. If he was honest then yes, sometimes that thought was 'today I die' and it was a comforting thought.

Today was one of those days. He felt the dark walls closing in, the incredible loneliness and the fact that he had to finally comprehend… they were not coming.

He was alone.

Alone, in pain and only endless sessions of agony awaited him. Death was certainly preferable, but the Wraith had thought even of that. The only thing in his cell was a pipe that dripped water and although he had what was left of his BDUs and an undershirt it was hardly enough to strangle him.

Besides the bastards would only bring him back. They had once before when the Queen had gone too far and crushed his windpipe. He had known they could return life-force into someone, but they were like a walking sarcophagus and it was the first time they had made him scream; he thought death had finally come and then awoke with one of their claws on his throat. The Queen had laughed, telling him escape had never been an option, in any way or form.

Collapsing to his knees he let all the pain and anguish wash over him, that part of him still operating on logic knew that this was just another sign of depression; a physical reaction to his situation and from his injuries and from a lack of human contact. That logical part was enough to pull him back from the brink and he breathed deep, using calming techniques that Teyla had taught him.

"You're pathetic," a voice sneered in the dark.

"David?"

SGASGASGASGA

Thanking Teyla and seeing that she at least had some breakfast John grabbed two coffees and headed for Parrish's lab. As always the scientist was already at work, although John noticed the pile of used clothes in the corner: military issue. Parrish had taken to training with some of the soldiers early in the morning, he said it was everyone's responsibility to be ready in an attack or when on mission. John could not disagree; Rodney had done the same thing before becoming the leader of Atlantis. He still could not fire a gun without closing his eyes and how he had never shot his own team John would never know.

Nodding thanks for the coffee Parrish continued to catalogue a row of moss samples from a recent mission. The samples were blue, purple and orange. The only way John knew they were moss was because of all the time he had been spending in the lab and Parrish had a habit of prattling on about what everything was even when you made it obvious you did not care… especially when you did not care.

The botanist stopped what he was doing and took a swig of coffee then winced and shoved the mug at John who swapped it quickly.

"What do you put in it… sugar syrup?" Parrish complained.

"I have a sweet tooth, its Rodney's fault."

Parrish snorted and drank his now suitably sugar and milk free coffee, sighing happily. "The only way to truly enjoy it."

John peered at his own mug and then at Parrish's, an embarrassed look came over his face. "Don't tell the others."

"What? Would it ruin your tough guy image, too late; I've got two words for you Colonel… hair product."

"You're certainly in a good mood today David," said John as he absently ruffled his hair, its not as if he used a lot, just enough to keep it out of his eyes.

David nodded. "The mission was a success; we made some valuable trade alliances and got these wonderful samples, and no sign of Wraith."

"Mmm, they have been a little quiet lately, it's got McKay spooked."

"And what does 'McKay' think the Wraith are up to," asked David smartly, his chirpy mood rubbing off on the Colonel.

"Okay then, they've got me spooked; we've never gone this long without troubles… it's just," he waved his hands expressively. "Wrong so they must be up to something."

David stepped closer and looked over John's face; he brushed the Colonel's cheek with a moss encrusted finger. "You've been up all night again, that's a three day growth and you usually only allow two."

Wiping at the purple smudge John did not even bother to reprimand the scientist; the guy was just touchy feely and no amount of comments had stopped him. It had bothered him at first, especially since he knew Parrish was gay, but when he realised the guy was not making a move he let it go; more important things and all that. Besides, he genuinely enjoyed David's company; he could just be John instead of the military leader of Atlantis.

"Intel footage," John admitted, which made David spin around and start working on the moss again, obviously not wanting to ask because he probably already knew the answer.

Never-the-less John had a duty to tell him and if the roles had been reversed he would want to know. "Nothing, even Teyla helped but," he left it hang.

Just as John reached the door David murmured a thanks, other times he would have stayed but the Colonel had got to now the botanist's moods quite well and he knew the man just wanted to be alone, at least for now. Later John knew, he would visit again and they would talk.

Returning to the dining hall John piled up a plate and took a table in the corner; right on cue Ronon and Rodney also entered, got their food and joined him. After the usual grunts, which in their language meant 'good morning how are you today' John noticed an unusual grin on Ronon's face.

"What?"

Ronon just smirked. "Nothing man it's a good shade on you."

Sheppard just raised his eyebrows, not comprehending. McKay looked at them both then just muttered something about cavemen and army jocks before throwing a napkin at the Colonel and indicating his cheek.

Wiping at it John realised some purple had remained; its placement had made it look like blush. "You should see my lipstick," countered Sheppard wryly. "But Rodney keeps stealing it."

"Hey!" protested McKay. "How did I become the, oh yes, that's right, pick on the genius," he paused to steal a hash brown off Ronon's plate before continuing. "And it's called lip gloss, I have very dry lips – they crack, extremely unsightly and painful."

Ronon laughed at McKay's discomfort but his face turned serious when he looked at Sheppard again. "Teyla was gone all last night, do I have you to thank for that?"

John just tried to look innocent. "She offered to help with some intelligence photos and who was I to say no? Maybe she wanted a reason not to go to bed."

Rodney chuckled and Ronon growled, although it was a 'not really going to bite a chunk out of your arm' kind of growl, at least John hoped so.

"But seriously John," said McKay, speaking around a mouthful of Sheppard's bacon. "We have analysts for that; you have other things to do: like sleep so we have a commander who can actually function in an emergency."

John just sneered but did allow McKay to steal another strip. "I think I liked it better when you called me Colonel."

"Elizabeth always called you John," answered McKay, taking a huge gulp of Ronon's milk. "And since I'm now."

"You're not Elizabeth," said John emphatically, Rodney just shrugged evasively and eyed off a piece of Sheppard's toast, John quickly bit into it before the astrophysicist could pounce.

"You didn't find anything?" asked Ronon, getting back to the original subject while handing a grateful McKay his own heavily buttered toast.

"The usual stuff: Wraith atrocities, people dying, good breakfast table subjects," snapped the Colonel, his tone turning cold.

Ronon did not take offence; he obviously understood Sheppard's motivation and John shook his head in apology. "Sorry, it's just we've never found even one clue, one piece of evidence."

McKay looked at Sheppard sharply. "We may never, the cold fact is if he was taken by the Wraith and they probably fed on him and dumped his body in space."

"Rodney" said Ronon out the side of his mouth.

"What? Well I'm just being practical, and it makes sense that they wouldn't keep the bodies on board… although I wonder, maybe they incinerate them or use them for fuel"

"Thank-you Rodney" said John curtly and got up from the table. "I'll make sure to put that in my report."

As Sheppard left Ronon nudged McKay in the ribs. "I thought you were meant to be smart."

"I am – that has been proven on many occasions, what are you implying… oh" his mouth dropped open as he replayed the conversation in his head. "Well I was never good at the squishy sciences like psychology, I mean it has been months and maybe he should let go."

Passing Rodney another piece of toast Ronon just shook his head. "Sometimes you never let go, and I mean never."

_Wraith Hive Ship_

"You're not real."

"Oh come now Evan, I can be as real as you want."

Ghostly fingers slid down Lorne's spine and he had to shake his head; knowing it was just a phantom of his pain riddled mind did not prevent the small thrill he felt. It was tempting just to give in and believe that David was here, that his imprisonment was the delusion and that he was really back in Atlantis with his lover. The temptation was not enough to forget his duty however and neither could he ignore the constant pain. He could not and would not enter into this fantasy, but unfortunately Lorne was far enough gone to talk to the phantom. "You are not him… you are not David."

The fingers receded but Lorne could still feel the presence of the pseudo Parrish watching him, weighing him up.

"Doubt was always your biggest problem Evan, doubt in others… in your self," the voice shifted so that it was behind his ear and then across the room. "Here I am yet you push me away… like all the others."

Lorne curled up on the ground, not wanting to listen but he could not block Parrish out. "David would not say that," he shivered, more in pain from moving than anything else; Wraith ships were always quite warm.

"David… David could not do a lot of things, according to you," Parrish sneered, the voice now all around the major.

"I never stopped you from doing anything," stated Lorne, not yet realising he was now talking to the phantom as if it was David.

"Hah! Never! There was a lot of never in our relationship wasn't there?" It had taken on a higher tone. "Never tell anyone, never turn up unannounced, never on a mission, never touch in public, and never show any affection that anyone else could see."

"Stop it."

"Never eat together; never stay the whole night."

"That's not true."

"Too true lover, you always had to be the perfect soldier… and good little soldiers don't fuck other men"

"It's not like that," his voice wavered, the line now well and truly crossed as he both knew he wasn't talking to David but suspected he just might be, like a dream where reality and imagination have collided.

"It is always like that, your rules and your way. You claim to care for me but the only person you care about is yourself, your reputation… I was never more than a convenient lay"

"Please?" Lorne gasped. "Don't say that, I love you David."

The phantom Parrish snorted in derision. "Love! You don't know the meaning of that word; it is as alien to you as the Wraith. You just take what you want and leave nothing but destruction in your path, just like the Wraith. You're unfeeling and uncaring, selfish and without compassion, just like the Wraith. Face it… you are more Wraith than human, it is why you are here."

"No."

"Major Lorne, the biggest failure of Atlantis, for he is a Wraith at heart."

"Stop it!"

"Sucking the life out of all those around him."

"NO!" Lorne shouted in defiance and tried to strike out at the phantom, but his fists met nothing but air and he was once again left alone with only his own thoughts to torment him.

When the Wraith came to collect him for the next session they found him in a foetal position shaking uncontrollably, the Queen would be pleased.

tbc…


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3: Manifestation of Hope**_

_Atlantis _

The Colonel's footsteps were beginning to annoy Chuck, since the man had not stopped pacing all afternoon. Thankfully Chuck knew he was almost done and then might be left alone, or at least pestered for other reasons. Just as Sheppard was about to ask again McKay stepped into the control room and crossed his arms while standing directly in the Colonel's path. Almost running into him Sheppard finally had to stop.

"We're busy here McKay, haven't you got some treaty to finalise."

McKay gave his usual snort and smiled lopsidedly. "Chuck is busy Colonel, you are just being annoying and for your information the treaty has just been ratified by the Genii."

Sheppard looked both surprised and impressed, "Wow, that's… that's just great Rodney." He grabbed McKay by the arms, "Elizabeth would be proud, and amazed. Who would have thought that Rodney McKay would form an official alliance with the Genii?"

McKay was obviously fairly pleased with himself noticed Chuck, since he did not shrug off the Colonel with his usual adversity for physical contact, but he did still stir the pot.

"I cannot take the entire credit."

"But you'd like to."

"Well it was my innovation to provide them with not just technological but educational assistance" said McKay smugly, "and its not just the Genii, we now have over sixty signatories covering fifty systems."

Giving McKay a questioning look Sheppard finally dropped his arms. "They're not letting you call it the United Federation of Planets are they?"

"No… we're sticking with the Pegasus Alliance. Short, simple and keeps the arguments to a minimum." McKay tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice but failed miserably. Everyone in the city was well aware of his push to call their new alliance the Federation but unfortunately one Earth scientist had told a Genii scientist where the name actually came from. After that the Genii simply refused to be a part of any treaty that would end with their membership in a fictional federation. As an added jibe at McKay the negotiators somehow got the parties to agree calling the treaty the 'Meredith Treatise', it was a well guarded secret where the name actually came from and much as McKay pretended to fume he did seem a little flattered.

"Sirs," said Chuck. "The last sensor link just came on line, data burst in five four three," he counted down with just his fingers and pointed on zero. Not just McKay and Sheppard but every person in the gate room looked up at the empty space above and in front of the gate. On cue the box shaped hologram flickered to life representing the entire segment of the galaxy now covered by a sensor net. As each cloaked satellite sent its data along the link a spherical section within the box lit up with symbols and icons; there was a collective sigh as the significance of the achievement sank in.

Sheppard placed his hand on Chuck's shoulder. "Well done Chuck, well done."

"Thank you sir." He wanted to grin like an idiot for the compliment, but knew the hard work had only just started. "We now have almost a third of the Pegasus Galaxy under observation, no Wraith ship will be able to move in that area without us knowing it… but."

"But?" asked Sheppard

McKay was busily working at a console and answered instead, "It's the amount of information we're receiving, its just beyond anything even the Atlantis system has ever processed; it will take time to access the data and build programs to filter relevant details and then recalibrate the satellites; right now they are sending us information on every energy signature, not just hive ships but stars, planets, moons, asteroids, gas clouds," he paused and looked at the Colonel. "It will be weeks before we can decipher individual ships let alone…"

Sheppard sighed, "Individual beacons."

"Yes but think of it John," said McKay, getting excited. "We can warn people weeks ahead of time that Wraith are heading their way, organise evacuations, defences… _we_ can ambush the Wraith!"

The Colonel did smile at that, a predatory look in his eyes as he rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. Chuck could guess what he was considering because it was something they all felt. The tables were turning and it was time to start taking revenge. One part of Chuck regretted the pleasure he felt at the thought of it, but Pegasus was a harsh galaxy and had made them all harder, pragmatic and ruthless.

Of course the Colonel once again surprised Chuck by revealing it was not revenge but strategy he was considering. "What if we had a super computer, a network of thousands that could assimilate the data in hours and not weeks?"

"And you just happen to have one," said McKay sarcastically. "No? No? Right then, we just have to," he paused as the 'I just got a great idea' look came over his face. Sheppard looked on; obviously already with the answer but waiting for McKay to think it his own.

McKay snapped his fingers. "Tens of thousands of processors working in concert could simultaneously process the data and produce the correct protocols."

The Colonel and McKay stared at one another for a second then spoke at the same time. "The Asurans".

_Wraith Hive Ship_

"This is different," said the phantom Parrish as Lorne lay on his back gasping for breath. The Major did not answer the phantom for one of the Wraith guards had remained in the room after dumping him on the ground. Parrish did not seem to notice the guard as he studied Lorne's ruined arm. "They've moved on from just breaking bones then?"

Lorne did not have to look; he knew what had been done to his flesh. Whatever the Wraith equivalent of a blowtorch was had been used quite effectively to blister his skin from wrist to shoulder. Wishing for the good old days of bone smashing Lorne raised his head and glared at the Wraith.

They stared at each other for a while, the guard was not one of the faceless but the more highly evolved with a face that could almost be called human, in a very dark room through blurred vision with a head that was shaking from the effort of moving.

As he was about to let his head fall back Lorne found the strain taken up by the Wraith, its hand on the back of his skull keeping their eyes in contact. Hope flared as Lorne thought that finally they would feed and his suffering would be over, the latest torture was almost the end of him. Broken bones were terrible but he had almost got used to them, and had learnt if he remained as still as possible the pain was reduced. Burns however had no such relief; the pain simply continued on and even the slightest contact flared the agony once more. Lorne had fervently hoped some kind of infection would take hold and finish him, but they appeared to keep him in some kind of sterilised environment. That or there was no bacteria on a Wraith ship capable of attacking a human body.

In almost slow motion Lorne watched the Wraith's other hand sink onto his torso and he tried to conjure up whatever last thoughts would be appropriate. Some kind of prayer, but then he was not even slightly religious, even now. Famous last words were useless because who except for his phantom friends would be listening. He settled for just thinking of his friends and loved ones, all of whom were on Atlantis since he had no family and prior to Atlantis the air-force had been his community.

The hand made contact and Lorne tensed, then started to fight. No matter how much he thought he had wanted death it would be giving up, surrendering and Major Evan Lorne just could not give the Wraith that last piece. He would die a warrior.

SGASGASGASGA

The entire lunch room came to a complete stop as Chuck raced in and skidded up to the Colonel's table. Sheppard froze with a sandwich half-way to his mouth and could not even form a question, the hope too much and the fear too close.

Chuck saved him the trouble.

"We have a contact sir, verified and then triple checked. Major Lorne is alive and we know his exact location."

The Colonel jumped up as did everyone else in the room, all of them holding their breath for the next order. The Colonel allowed a smile of pride to slip across his face as he saw that every person had not trepidation but expressions of determination; they would follow his orders no matter where it led them. For the past six months his single minded determination to find the Major had motivated every section to find even better methods to battle the Wraith, and to put an end to the constant slaughter. They now had weapons that fired explosive phosphorous rounds, taking down a Wraith with only a few shots. They had shielded body armour that rendered the stun weapons useless and sensor scramblers so that the Wraith could not detect their life-signs.

Dozens of other equipment upgrades and new technologies had given the expedition a new found hope. That hope had also had resulted in their willingness to work on an alliance with former enemies, the Asurans number one on that list. After negotiations that seemed sure to fail McKay had returned victorious, the Asurans had joined the Pegasus Alliance. All it had taken was providing them with every piece of data on the weapons Earth might use against them and as a final desperate plea McKay had offered them Atlantis. This had finally convinced the Asurans that Earth did not want them destroyed and in true machine logic they simply put aside all the bloodshed between the former enemies and joined the alliance, also declining Atlantis. They could after all make their own.

McKay now had all the ZPMs he ever wanted and a fleet of Aurora class vessels for human use were only months away from completion. All this though did not guarantee success, after all the Ancients had had more and still lost. But as the expedition had come to learn the Ancients were flawed in many ways, not least their arrogance and lack of ability to diversify had probably cost them the war. The Pegasus Alliance had no such problems, utilising people and technology from a hundred worlds and the sound knowledge that they were fighting back from a losing position.

As the Genii had commented on more than one occasion, the Milky Way humans had a habit of becoming more dangerous the worse their situation grew. All this the Colonel knew before giving the order, as was always the case the situation was grim and they would need to come up with a plan that relied on luck and odds that no betting man would ever take.

But then as the Asurans had often been told of late, never tell humans the odds – it just made them all the more determined to prove them wrong.

Sheppard took a breath and a moment to think on whether it really was worth doing this for one man, and then he spied Parrish looking at him from across the room. His mind made up the Colonel gave the order.

"Assemble all teams and prepare for a go, Operation Retrieve has just been initiated."

_Wraith Hive Ship_

The Wraith's hand remained on Lorne's chest but the agony of his life force being drained had not yet started. The Major was trying to fight but his body was broken and even when fully fit he could not prevent this. This Wraith seemed gentle about it, his grip not crushing just firm and his face oddly compassionate. Not an expression Lorne had ever thought he would see on a Wraith.

"Have you not fought long enough human?" The voice was soft and low, another surprise from the hissing way they normally addressed him. "I had thought to end your pain, your courage has shamed me – even now you fight against the inevitable."

Not quite believing what he was hearing the Major just blinked at the Wraith, thinking that perhaps this was another phantom, another way to torture him.

His disbelief must have shown for the Wraith continued, "We are not at heart a cruel race, just practical. Your people are a threat to be eliminated and you can help us do that." The Wraith leaned in closer so that his face was only inches away from Lorne's. "But this has gone far enough, a quick death to feed is one thing but what has been done to you is not… right."

"You would kill me to save me?" Lorne chuckled at the irony, the one thing all Atlantis people feared most was the one thing that would end his pain.

"Yes." The Wraith kept his hand where it was but did not yet feed. "But I will not make it just a feeding, you have earned the right to choose. Will it be life and pain or death and release?"

The whole room was suddenly filled with a bright white light and Lorne closed his eyes against the glare, when he opened them again he was still lying down but no longer on the Wraith ship. He was in his own bed on Atlantis and instead of the Wraith atop him it was David Parrish. The scientist cast a loving smile on Lorne and brushed a kiss against his lips. "Before you ask, this is not a dream but then it is not fully real – it is just a moment of time."

Lorne licked his lips. "My subconscious is getting better, you even taste like David."

"Thank you, I think." David stroked Lorne's cheek, "I have missed you so much, if only?" He shook is head as if getting rid of a tempting thought. "You have a decision to make and I am here to tell you not to give up."

"I gave up a long time ago," hissed Lorne. "I just refuse to give in." The Major grabbed David by the wrist, marvelling that his hand actually worked and he did seem to be free of pain for the moment. "Shouldn't you be tormenting me by now?"

A pained look came upon David's face. "I would never hurt you Evan, whatever they have done to you, whatever has happened you must believe that if I could have-."

"You would have what? No-one can save me, no one can stop this. It is my hell and I cannot escape."

"It will not last forever." David brought Lorne's hand to his lips and kissed the fingertips, something he always did to calm the Major. "You must fight for just a little bit longer."

"It is always just a little bit longer, just one more day. I have nothing left to give, let me die – let me go David?"

"No!" Parrish glared angrily at Lorne. "Fight one more time, just one more day for me!"

"Why?"

David leaned down until his lips were brushing Evan's ear. "We're coming."

The light faded, as did the bedroom and Lorne was once again staring at the Wraith.

Pain lanced up his arm; letting him know that this was the real world and no longer his fantasy. Never-the-less Lorne had to hope that maybe there was just that one little chance. Also he knew that to give in now was to lose all that he was and all that he had ever fought for.

"Life," he whispered and the Wraith looked at him incredulously and seemed tempted to kill him anyway.

In the end the Wraith respected his decision, "As you wish human." He paused before removing his hand and closed his eyes. Instead of cold life sucking pain warmth spread from the Wraith's hand and flowed throughout Lorne's body. After several seconds the burning pain in his arm receded to something more tolerable.

"I cannot heal you completely," said the Wraith and gently put Lorne's head to the floor. "She would just hurt you twice as much next time, and kill me."

"Thank you."

The Wraith stood over him and looked totally confused, "I have taken you to be tortured almost every day and you thank me for one act of kindness. Humans are certainly quite odd sometimes."

He left and Lorne stared at the dark ceiling. "Yes we are."

tbc…


	4. Chapter 4

Manifestation of Conflict

The flickering of hyperspace highlighted Parrish's face in the otherwise darkened room. Sheppard stood watching the other man gaze through the window without announcing his presence. He was pretty sure Parrish knew he was here but was politely waiting for John to cough or something. He should have and he would.

Just for a moment he needed to consider this man who had become such an important part of his life. They were not lovers but it was definitely more than friendship. Countless hours had been spent in the lab discussing everything from Lorne's peculiar habits to how many times McKay could say genius in one day. Meals were often taken together as well movies and what little leisure time they managed to take. Now, on the verge of their rescue mission, John considered the implications of having Lorne back in Atlantis. He immediately chided himself for such selfish thoughts. He really hoped there was no such thing as an instant karma device in the Pegasus galaxy. If there was he was really screwed.

"Colonel?" Parrish had turned and looked at Sheppard quizzically.

"David," said Sheppard a little quickly. "Just came to check if you're ready."

"All dressed and ready to go… John."

The Colonel nodded absently. "Are you sure you want to be in on this? We don't know what his condition will be or even…"

"Even if he will be alive?" answered Parrish. "Yes, I should be there. No matter the outcome I owe him that much."

He said it with what John could only describe as regret. He moved closer and put a hand on the other man's shoulder. "What's wrong David? This is the moment. This is why we have kept up the search all this time."

The botanist sighed heavily. "No John. Not us." He blinked quickly, the tears obvious in his eyes. "It is you who has kept up the fight. Truth be told I gave up long ago." He shrugged off the Colonel's hand and crossing his arms turned back to the window. "I let him go; accepted that he was dead. I could never tell you that because I knew what it would do."

"What it would do?" asked Sheppard incredulously.

"It is the only thing that kept you going sometimes: the belief that you would save this one man, after having lost so many."

Sheppard snorted. "You make me sound pathetic."

Parrish spun around and grabbed Sheppard. "Far from it. Your drive and your dedication have made others work miracles. Your stubbornness has led people to do the seemingly impossible. The Pegasus Alliance, the weapons and even this mission. All of it because of everyone who knew and loved Evan Lorne you never gave up on him." He lowered his head onto the Colonel's chest. "I did. I gave up and I will never be able to make that up to him. Yesterday when we got the news I was overjoyed, and utterly ashamed."

Lifting Parrish's head by the chin Sheppard whispered, "Lorne will understand. He's lost friends and comrades, and knows that to survive sometimes you have to let go."

"That's just it," muttered Parrish. "I moved on. I lived and in my mind he did not. I can't go back to before."

"Why not?"

"Because I did something. When I found out that Evan was alive I did something that will have serious consequences. It cannot be undone."

Sheppard was totally confused and stepped back from the botanist. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I cannot say. But you will find out and when you do I need you to do something for me."

"Anything, you know that."

"Take care of Evan. Be there for him as I know you can be… as I know that you would like to be."

The Colonel was speechless as Parrish moved forward and pressed his lips to John's. Sheppard hesitated before returning the kiss. Remaining passive for only a moment John spun Parrish around and pressed him up against the bulkhead. David moved his hands up John's chest before sliding them around to clasp his lower back. He groaned as the Colonel shifted to nuzzle on his neck and used one hand to caress the back of his neck. The sky blue of hyperspace bathed the two of them in a soft light. Sheppard took a moment to admire the shadowed profile of Parrish. His hair was in disarray, much like John's and his eyes were closed with long lashes evident even in the low light. In that moment he saw the choices before him.

"We can't," said John and pulled away.

"You don't want this?" asked the other man.

"It doesn't matter what I want."

"No secrets between us John." Parrish moved forward again but only placed his palm on Sheppard's cheek, as he had done countless times in the lab. "What you want? I would say that what you want is very important." He paused and opened up one of Sheppard's pockets. Inside was an item that the Colonel thought no-one knew about. Pulling it out Parrish held it out to John's face, not even looking at it himself. "Perhaps more important is who you really want."

Sheppard took the picture gently and Parrish smiled. The Colonel tried to smile back; tried to show that there were no hard feelings. He knew he did not have to and that Parrish understood. Perhaps he had always understood.

Parrish left the room and Sheppard held up the photograph in the blue light. A picture that showed two men, with beers in hand and laughing, arm in arm on an Atlantis balcony.

"We're coming," whispered Sheppard. He put it away and adjusted his uniform before moving out into the hall. It was going to be a very long day.

_**Wraith Hive Ship**_

The Queen slammed his face into the MALP and when he slid off it a trail of red remained. Lorne sniggered to himself. In all the time they had been at this she had never broken his nose. It often felt that every bone in his body had been smashed – but never his nose. Until now of course.

She stood over his prone body with hands on hips in that stance that only the Wraith seemed able to pull off. "Do you sense the end human? Do you see this piece of metal before you and know that it speaks of death for you and all your kind?"

Of course he could see it. It was pretty hard to miss a big piece of metal on wheels, especially when your face had been grinded into it. The phantom Sheppard stood behind the MALP and Lorne grinned at his hallucination. "What do you think Colonel? Have we not heard the chimes at midnight?" Laughing so hard at his own joke Lorne did not even see the kick coming.

As he tried to get a breath through his newly fractured ribs the Queen glared at the two guards standing to the side.

"He has been like this for days," answered one to the unspoken question. "He talks with things that are not there."

She crouched down and gripped his face with one hand. "We know your tactics. After the machine your people will send small groups. They will find themselves snared in a trap. If only one of them gives me what I need then all this has been worth it." Her hand started to squeeze but the pain was nothing compared to previous tortures so Lorne easily ignored it. "You can die knowing that worthless as you were for information – as bait you were invaluable."

The Major started to laugh again and she shoved him back in disgust. "His mind is gone. Pathetic human."

The laughter stopped and Lorne looked up at the Queen. "Not so insane that I don't realise what that machine really tells me."

"And what is that?"

He glanced at the MALP again and read the date written on the side: June 6 1944.

"You are so fucked."

_**Daedalus**_

The team checked their weapons again and stood close together in the middle of the room. Three teams were assigned to board the Wraith Hive ship and rescue Major Lorne. If it had been allowed there would have been many more teams but everyone had their assignments.

Lieutenant Cadman finished with her team and moved over to speak quietly with Colonel Sheppard. "I hear they offered you command of this venture but you turned it down."

"You shouldn't believe everything you hear Lieutenant," said Sheppard wryly. "Caldwell is who we need in that command chair."

"And if you had accepted you wouldn't be on this part of the mission."

Any response he had was drowned out by Caldwell's voice on the speakers.

"This is General Caldwell. We are three minutes from the target. At this moment our allies should have already begun their attack and drawn the Wraith's attention. We cannot waste this opportunity and I expect each and every one of you to perform above and beyond in the coming battle. We have put every resource into this mission. Our allies have joined with us to strike a blow at the Wraith that they should not quickly recover from – if ever. What started as a small rescue mission has become something that we had never thought possible… an all out attack on a Wraith fleet. If successful we will have freed dozens of worlds and hundreds of thousands of people from agony and death."

Sheppard raised his eyebrows as he recognised that Caldwell was putting real emotion into his words. His respect for the man skyrocketed.

"Today we fight with the people of Pegasus. I fight not because it is my duty and not because it is my responsibility. I will face the Wraith because Pegasus means more to me than just a buffer between the Wraith and Earth. Somewhere along the way I stopped thinking of Atlantis as a destination, and started seeing it as home. Fight today not as people of Earth, or people of Pegasus – but as humanity. The greatest asset we will ever have is our human courage. Use it now and remember it for all time. Good luck and may the Wraith feel the sharp sting of defeat."

The ship erupted in cheers and shouts of defiance. General Caldwell allowed it to die down before giving the final orders.

"All hands to battle stations. Ready boarding teams and prepare for attack."

Sheppard took a final look at his teams and nodded soberly at Cadman. "Form up! Shoot anything that moves and watch your six. We will rescue Major Lorne and nobody gets left behind." He avoided looking at Parrish. It was not guilt but the need to focus. Sheppard knew if he made eye contact with the scientist he would probably reach out for one final touch. Not something he could afford moments before action.

He clutched the P90 and tried to loosen up as he felt the ship drop out of hyperspace. Nodding at the technician he felt the familiar cold grip of the transport beam and everything turned a bright white.

_**Wraith Hive Ship**_

Several more Wraith entered the room and conferred with the Queen. She slapped one across the face in frustration and Lorne wanted to laugh. Unfortunately he was concerned that as soon as she remembered he was there his life would be over. Strangely one of the guards stood by Lorne but did not try to attract attention either.

It had all started only minutes earlier. Two Wraith had burst in and started blabbering about a massive ground assault. Much bigger than the small attack predicted by the Queen. So much bigger that the Wraith were falling back to the grounded Hive ship.

Lorne knew that only one people were capable of pulling off an attack with such numbers: the Genii.

The other thing that was causing a real stir was the fact that the Wraith had to communicate verbally. Something was blocking their telepathy and for a race used to such a thing it was difficult to co-ordinate a battle. The Queen was pissed, the Wraith were – dare Lorne even believe it… scared.

In his experience this did not improve his position. Sooner or later the Queen would want to take out her frustration on something. That something would be him and this time she would probably tear out his heart.

"Re-deploy the fleet," the Queen hissed. "I want the entire continent razed."

They rushed to carry out her orders and that is when she looked over at Lorne and grinned viscously. "Did your people think I would not sacrifice my own to destroy them? How little you understand the Wraith."

"We are in position," a functionary reported.

"Destroy them."

A split second after she said it the entire ship shuddered. The Queen looked at a subordinate and he rushed to a console. "Three vessels have exited hyperspace – two of our ships have already been disabled and our engines have received major damage."

"What!" Her voice lashed out like a lance. Lorne was fairly certain if her telepathy had been working she would have fried the functionary's brain.

"Our shields were down," he tried to explain. "To maximise our firing ability at the surface."

The ship lurched again and one wall erupted in flame and smoke. The explosion knocked several Wraith to the deck and Lorne would have fallen had not the guard steadied him. Looking at the Wraith's face Lorne realised it was the one that had helped only days earlier.

"You knew this was coming," the Wraith whispered. "How is that possible?"

"I have very determined friends."

An iron arm grabbed Lorne from behind and the Queen hissed in his ear, "Your friends cannot help you human."

Tbc…

_Chapter Notes: The date - June 6 1944 is commonly known as D Day. The day that the largest assault the world has ever known was launched against the Axis powers of World War 2. Major Lorne would of course know this and that it meant more than just a rescue mission was planned._


	5. Chapter 5

Manifestation of Liberation

"Are we in range?"

"Not yet sir." Chuck checked the telemetry again but there was no getting around it. They just could not safely go any faster.

"Come on come on!"

"She'll fly apart."

McKay did not hesitate. His friends were in trouble and he could help.

"Fly her apart then!"

_Daedalus_

The officer shook his head and Caldwell cursed silently.

The ship shuddered after another barrage from the Hive ship; at least the remaining active Hive ship. The others were now wreckage or dead in space. One was even beginning to skim the atmosphere. Its hull was breaking apart in smoking pieces as the planet's ionosphere tore at it like a jagged razor.

They had been extremely lucky. Hitting all the hive ships while their shields were down was a better result than they could have hoped for. The mission specs had been put together on the assumption that they would be able to disable half the fleet and take them one by one. Once Caldwell recognised the opportunity he had ordered the Apollo to finish off the other ships while the Daedalus and the Artemis alternated attacking the central hive ship and shielding the surface troops from bombardment.

He knew with a few more well placed shots they could take out the remaining Hive. The problem was Sheppard's teams were still on board. They had been unable to beam directly to Lorne's location and were fighting their way through. Time was not on their side. The central hive ship was bigger and had more weapons than all three Earth ships combined. The only thing saving them was that the ship was already heavily damaged and was operating on only half its systems.

If the Wraith managed to repair them however…Caldwell knew the choice he would have to make before that happened.

"Sheppard." Once more there was just static. Whatever part of the ship they were on was just too heavily shielded. Only the teams' beacons let Caldwell know they were still alive.

_Wraith Hive Ship_

The Colonel inserted another clip and immediately emptied it into the unit of Wraith approaching. A satisfying amount of Wraith went down instantly amid screams and shouts of fury. The phosphorus rounds were not just extra deadly to Wraith but extremely painful as they continued to burn into the flesh.

As the second team finished off the Wraith the Colonel checked the pad on his wrist. The flashing dot that was Lorne was still one hundred meters away. Sheppard knew that Caldwell could not hold back for too much longer. He had faced similar situations many times before. So near and yet so far – but experience did not make this any easier.

Time was simply running out and as he inserted another clip Sheppard realised that Lorne's time was running out too.

_Wraith Control Centre_

His vision blurred as his oxygen starved brain started shutting down. Lorne struggled against the Queen's grip but it was useless. She was too strong and he was too weak. He could not even stand unassisted let alone shrug off an angry alien Queen. Just as his consciousness started to slip away she loosened her hold and spun him around. On his knees Lorne watched as she raised her hand in preparation to feed. This time he knew it would not be just part of the torture. This would be the final strike.

"No." The voice was neither loud nor angry. Just firm as the Wraith guard grabbed the Queen's arm and muttered again, "No."

"You dare to touch me," hissed the Queen and tried to rip her hand away but he latched on and she screamed in frustration.

Twisting her arm around she flipped the Wraith guard over and he fell heavily on Lorne. The two crashed down and the Wraith leaned in with his face almost touching Lorne's.

"War of annihilation serves no-one," whispered the Wraith, loud enough for only Lorne to hear. "Another way must be found."

The Wraith rose up and in his hand was a weapon. Instead of aiming it at the Queen however he swung it around towards a console and fired. A shower of sparks and some dull explosions hid the gasp of the Wraith as the Queen sliced first one way and then the other. Her blade cut him open across his chest and the guard once more slumped down. In that precious moment Lorne grabbed the guard's wrist and turned it towards the Queen. His own fingers could never have operated the gun as they were bent and broken. Luckily he did not have to as the guard still had his own finger on the trigger and Lorne only had to tighten his grip.

He did not hesitate. The gun fired three times and two shots caught the Queen square in the chest, the other going wild as she flipped back.

This had all happened in a matter of moments and only now had the rest of the Wraith started to respond. They stared in shock at what was before them. Their Queen killed by a human and a Wraith. Shock did not last as several weapons were pointed at Lorne.

Several things then happened at once.

A bright white light flashed in the corner of the room.

Another hyperspace window opened right next to the Wraith Hive ship.

Lorne started laughing hysterically.

"It is Atlantis!" shouted one Wraith and Lorne turned towards the window. The view that greeted him was beautiful. The city emerged from hyperspace in all its glory. Atlantis was fully lit. The multiple spires glowed white, blue and green with shields already flickering as shrapnel and energy weapons hit them.

His laughter died as a barrel was pressed against his temple. Lorne sighed regretfully. Here he was, he had killed the Queen and Atlantis was here. The Wraith fleet was destroyed and victory was theirs. But not his.

Movement to the side made Lorne look and he smiled in appreciation. His phantom friends had come to say goodbye. There stood Sheppard, Cadmen, Ronon, Teyla and of course David. Strangely they had weapons. They had never had weapons before!

The Wraith holding the gun at his head followed Lorne's gaze and shouted an alarm. The entire room erupted in shouts, screams and gunfire – human and Wraith.

Instinctively Lorne dived down and found himself lying down next to the fallen Wraith guard. As the firing stopped and he heard Cadmen yell clear Lorne noticed that there was still life in the Wraith's eyes.

He put his hands to its chest in an attempt to plug the knife wounds. The Wraith gave a half grin at his efforts, feeble as they were with crooked fingers and one arm still fractured. The Wraith easily brushed his hands away.

Holding both of Lorne's hands in just one of his own the Wraith managed to speak. "Find another way human."

The grip loosened and the Wraith's head fell back.

"No," croaked Lorne. He knew it was crazy. He knew that this thing in front of him had been one of his tormentors. It was the enemy and did not deserve such emotions. Yet the major mourned him anyway and gulped back tears.

"Evan." It was Parrish as he placed a hand lightly on Lorne's shoulder; as if afraid he might break him. "It's time to go home."

_Atlantis_

"We need to fire sir. The Daedalus' shields are failing."

Muttering about time and overly brave colonel's McKay checked his panel. "One more moment, they need just a little more time."

Chuck turned around excitedly. "Daedalus reports that the teams have been recovered."

An evil grin spread across McKay's face. "Now witness the firepower of this fully operational battle station."

Had the situation not been so serious Chuck would have groaned. Instead he did his job without sarcastic comment. "Naquada warheads are armed."

Hesitating for only a second to admire the majesty of the ship he was about to obliterate McKay gave the order. "Destroy them."

Two clusters of missiles streaked out from Atlantis. The first struck the Wraith hive ship and shorted out the remaining shields in seconds. The second cluster split up and hit the ship at stern, mid-ships and bow. For several seconds there was no obvious damage but then suddenly the entire ship split and shattered before being incinerated in three giant blasts.

As the blast wave dissipated the remnants of the battle could be seen. Two hive ships lay dead in space, one was venting atmosphere and the other had split neatly in half. The others had been destroyed and only a few Wraith darts skimmed around trying to avoid being picked off by the Apollo and the Artemis.

The massive screen they had installed in command showed the devastation in full detail, almost as if you could reach out and touch it. No-one in command said anything. McKay slumped down in his chair and allowed a breath of relief to escape. Maybe they should have been celebrating but the scale of the destruction was affecting everyone. No matter which way you looked at it a lot of life had been lost today. That most of those dead were Wraith did not seem to help. McKay was already thinking ahead and realising that they had just upped the anti in their war with the Wraith.

_Atlantis Infirmary_

"Thank you sir. The last minute beam in got us there just in time."

The image of Caldwell on the screen was sombre and obviously the man was tired. The mop up operation continued however. Another reason Sheppard was glad he had turned down the command. The main reason of course was in the next room being treated by the doctor.

"Luckily the shields in that section dropped Colonel. I don't have to tell you how close it was."

"No sir."

"How is he?"

The Colonel hesitated. The truth was Lorne was not in any immediate danger. His injuries were extensive but not life threatening. He was not however, the same man Sheppard had once known. His whole appearance had changed from the repeated beatings and breaks on his body. The doctor was confident that with ancient technology they could repair most of the damage. Repair but not restore. There was simply no chance that Lorne would have a normal life after having so many bones broken and then badly set. All of his fingers were crooked. His right leg would have to be reset and an elbow and knee replaced. The burns would leave life-long scars that were visible across his arms, torso, neck and left ear.

Then there was the neurological damage. The amount of toxins in his blood, combined with the sustained abuse and captivity had left a man who at first sight was a shell of the air-force major he had once been. A blabbering mad-man who alternatively laughed then cried and continuously referred to Sheppard and to just about everyone else as phantoms. Of course Caldwell did not want to hear that.

"He'll be fine sir."

Caldwell grinned for the first time. "I think I'm going to enjoy being a general if it gets you to be so civil Colonel."

"Atlantis is still mine sir." Sheppard tried to say it with humour but failed. The General just nodded diplomatically and cut the connection.

Turning back to the room Sheppard could see Parish sitting by Lorne's side. For once the Major seemed calm as Parrish held his hand and they talked quietly. Although he could not hear them Sheppard had an idea of what was being discussed. For some reason Parrish said he had to leave. This was not a reunion but a goodbye.

Tbc…

_notes: I have used quotes from movies unashamedly, but I have tried to make it obvious. One more chapter to go for this fic. Sequals are always possible._


	6. Chapter 6

Manifestation of Foundation

The cloud of confusion and drug induced euphoria evaporated and Lorne found himself looking into Parrish's eyes.

"Hi."

"Hey."

It seemed an inane way to have a conversation. They had been separated for six months and each in their own amount of pain. Yet there were no expressions of undying love or long diatribes of lament. Lorne sensed rather than knew that Parrish had let go of whatever relationship they had had. It may have been the way the other man held his hand or the way his eyes had that look of regret mixed with longing.

He was not shocked by this. In his own way Lorne had let go of Parrish as well. Whether it was that he had let go of everyone or that it was the Parrish phantom that had been his worst torment. Of course letting go did not mean that the feelings had gone or that he had a need to touch this man and not want to release him.

"I missed you." Lorne whispered and ghosted a kiss across the other man's lips. With a start Lorne realised he could move freely and that his hands were normal. No deformed claws and no scars. The infirmary had also transformed into a small café with polka dot table cloths and quaint wooden chairs set on a deck that overlooked what seemed to be the French Rivera.

The café was empty except for themselves and two espressos steamed before them. The fragment aroma of freshly brewed coffee mixed with pastry was so real Lorne immediately relaxed even though he knew this had to be some kind of an illusion.

Flexing his now workable fingers Lorne sighed as several factors coalesced in his mind and the likely truth was revealed to him. "You're an Ancient aren't you?"

David shrugged as a look of such sadness crept into his eyes. Lorne wanted to reach out. He wanted to take David's hand and say that it didn't matter. He wanted everything back the way it was. But it wasn't and never would be.

"Are you about to change into a glowy white thing?"

"No," chuckled Parrish. "I'm not ascended. I am something else." He slipped his hand into Lorne's and squeezed gently. "I am just the man you see before you. If I could make this real and remove all that has been done to you I would."

"This… isn't real?"

"It is," Parrish gestured out the door to a group of students walking by. "A possibility."

"You and me in a French café is a possibility?"

The botanist raised an eyebrow. "You think that you sitting in a French café across from a gorgeous man not a possibility. This is what I do Evan. I see what can be and let me tell you that this is such a strong possible future that I almost vibrate at the feel of it."

"Then why do you look so sad when you say it?"

Parrish sighed heavily. "Because this is your future, not mine. I can never discern my own path."

Lorne removed his hand. "I can. You're leaving."

"Yes," whispered Parrish as a single tear escaped his eye.

The major's walls went up and his face lost all expression. "You believed I was dead. They all thought I was dead"

"All but Colonel Sheppard. He alone held out hope and his crusade infected others. To my shame I played on his pain to further my fight against the Wraith."

"Did you play on my pain?" The anger crept into Lorne's voice. "Did you stand back while they broke me? While they did unspeakable things? Did it help your plans when they roasted my flesh?"

"I thought you dead!" exploded Parrish. "And I never thought to feel such ache as when I would wake without you. I was consumed with hatred – for the Wraith and for your people who seemed content to let your death rest with so many others. Then the colonel started coming around to the lab and I saw in him an opportunity."

Lorne's jaw dropped in astonishment. "What are you to use people in such ways? How did I not see this?"

A pained look came upon Parrish's face. "I see possible futures. Not just the picturesque like this but others. Pain and death and genocide. Slavery and torture and eons of suffering. That is my power and my curse. For while I see what can be I cannot act to change it. They would stop me. I must act through others. Whisper in their ears and set them upon paths that may well lead to their own destruction."

"A dark muse," muttered Lorne as sympathy entered his voice. "So you must leave. You're too close to us now aren't you?"

"Yes," he answered almost too quiet to be heard. "I have travelled galaxies for millennia. Always moving and always fighting. For a brief moment I sought refuge in your arms. I never thought to get so attached."

Lorne had a feeling Parrish was not just referring to him.

"Can you at least help me before you go," pleaded Lorne. "I'm scared David; scared of becoming insane with the memories. I close my eyes and see that room, and her. I see what they did to me and I can't escape it. Take them away. Please take them out of my head."

Parrish closed his eyes and shook his head. "I don't have that kind of power. If I had I would have plucked you off that ship as soon as we found out you were alive."

"They'll send me away David," choked Lorne. The thought of it was almost too much. His injuries meant long-term recovery and although he could think clearly now he knew as soon as David returned him to reality the madness would come back. He would be sent back to Earth and locked away for his own protection. No more Atlantis and he would never see anyone here again.

A comforting smile stretched across Parrish's face. "That is not a future I see Evan. You must stay strong and believe in these people. They love you and will not discard you. _He_ will not let you down as I have."

Lorne shook his head. "I don't blame you David. It just seems so unfair."

"I know." Parrish leant forward and put a palm on each side of the major's head. "Your physical injuries I can do little for. Your mind I can do something. Not much but it will be like what happened to you was a year ago and not just now. Time really does heal wounds Evan, sometimes you just have to have the strength to let go."

The room started to blur and the reality of cramped muscles and aching bones returned. The familiar sounds of the infirmary flooded back but Parrish was gone. Lorne had a few precious seconds of clear thinking before the demons started screaming. He started to moan but then realised they were not as loud as before. With a little effort he was able to push them right to the back so that they were a mere whisper. No longer were the memories like a flow of molten lava through his head.

For the first time he was able to look around the room and not see Wraith hiding behind every corner. Better still there was not a phantom in sight. Perhaps David was right. Maybe it would take time but Lorne had to hope that a future that included fresh coffee, crisp bread and good company might just await him.

His last image before falling asleep was of Colonel Sheppard looking at him from the door. Even through the dreamlike state of almost sleep Lorne recognised the look for what it was and a part of him grabbed onto that. He would get better and move past this if only to see that look again.

This was Pegasus. Anything was possible.

SGASGASGASGASGA

Running along the hall Colonel Sheppard cursed the Pegasus galaxy and its twisted form of timing. Watching Lorne fall asleep had been such a perfect moment. A brief snap of time where the colonel could imagine such things that was previously unthinkable.

When he wakes up, he had promised himself, I will tell him. Once decided on a path very few things could make Sheppard change his mind.

Of course that is when the alarm went off and he was called to command. That is how this fucking galaxy worked. This is how is life had to be. No doubt it would be some kind of Genii betrayal or some kind of Wraith reprisal. It just would not be right of the universe to give him one moment of clarity without interruption.

Entering the gate room Sheppard immediately appraised the situation. A dozen marines surrounded David Parrish who stood, unarmed, in front of the Stargate. Up in control one of the techs was desperately trying to work the gate controls but obviously having no effect.

Chuck and McKay ran in just as Sheppard did. The two going to control as Sheppard ran up to the marines. The body language of Parrish told Sheppard all he needed to know.

"Stand down."

A few of the marines did but some hesitated.

"I said stand down!"

They obeyed this time and stepped back. Looking up to control Chuck gave a shrug and McKay shook his head.

Walking up to Parrish the Colonel spoke quietly. "What have you done?"

The expression on Parrish's face was forlorn. "I have done nothing." The entire room went dark as the power cut out and into the echoing darkness he continued. "They have done this. I broke the rules and must leave. No other choice is available."

His voice was flat and resigned. Just as he finished the Stargate activated. Not with the whoosh of wormhole forming but just a quiet ripple as the event horizon formed with no disturbance. Sheppard knew what it meant. He had read the reports. An ascended being had created the wormhole.

Once again he was facing Parrish in soft light. This time more white than blue but it had the same effect on the Colonel and he had to remind himself they were not alone.

He wanted to talk with Parrish. There were things that needed to be said but not with a room full of marines and technicians. He could hardly tell them to leave however, since this was a very serious situation.

McKay took the problem out of his hands. "Right! Everyone out. Clear the room people…now!"

It was a mark of respect that all of them obeyed immediately. Sheppard was slightly jealous that even the marines responded faster than they had with him. In seconds the room was clear apart from Sheppard, Parrish, Chuck and McKay. The two above stayed discreetly in the shadows and pretended to check a totally dead display board.

Parrish wore his usual grey uniform and had nothing else with him. No luggage or equipment or even food and drink.

Sheppard smirked but wasn't sure if Parrish could see it in the dim light. "This is kind of a one trip huh? No coming back."

"Anything is," the botanist snorted a laugh, "Possible."

Moving closer Sheppard dared to reach up and put a hand to Parrish's cheek. "Why? Why now? Stay and we can work things out. I know it will be complicated but surely we can."

He stopped as Parrish closed a hand over his. "I wish that were possible John, you would not believe how much I want that to be possible."

"No go huh?" whispered Sheppard. "Whoever thought ascension would make people smarter never met the ancients."

"Whoever thought love was straight forward never met you," retorted Parrish.

"Hey" said Sheppard. "I'm an easy guy to love."

"Exactly," murmured Parrish and stepped closer so that even in the dim light Sheppard could see his glistening lips and eyes filled with want. "Half the people in this city lust after you John Sheppard, and the other half just plain love you."

"And which do you fall under?" asked Sheppard huskily and planted a hand on the other man's hip.

"A little from column 'a' and a little from column 'b'." His answer was muffled as Sheppard kissed him. Luxuriating in the feel of Parrish's lips and the grazing of tongue against teeth Sheppard almost forgot they were not alone in the room. A polite cough from control reminded him and he grinned with his face still touching the other man.

"We've been here before."

"Colonel's and dark rooms. Must be a dangerous mix."

Sheppard allowed Parrish to pull away slightly but kept a firm grip on the other man's hip.

"What's it like David? To do what you do and see what you see?"

Parrish stepped back out of Sheppard's grasp and his face fell into shadow. "To see the future John is to know too much, and understand so little."

"Now you do sound like an ancient."

"Once long ago," said Parrish as an explanation. "But even then I was never like the others. They relied so much on consensus and group harmony."

"And rules," said John understandingly.

"Yes," sighed David. "So many rules."

The Stargate pulsed in warning and both men turned to it before facing each other again. David started backing towards it and stopped only a step before the event horizon.

"Our societies were not so different John. I, like you, was restricted by foolish rules and regulations. I allowed myself to believe it was a small sacrifice."

Twin rivulets of tears now fell down David's face as he inched towards the gate.

"One thing I have learnt from living so long John: through courage you can affect the future and even change the past but small fears always manifest into larger ones."

"David I…" John tried to speak but David held up a hand as one leg entered the event horizon.

"I know John. Love is such an easy thing to give. Don't let small fears stop you."

The gate shut down as Parrish vanished into it and left Sheppard standing before an empty gate as the lights came back on.

It was a full minute before he turned around to find McKay standing in front of him. The scientist gave his lop sided smile. "Colonel are there any ancients that don't fall for you?"

The laughter in his tone mixed with understanding told Sheppard all he needed to know. What was he worried about anyway? He was the ranking officer of Atlantis and had saved not one but two galaxies how many times. An entire population looked up to him and respected him, even loved him.

So did it really matter who he decided to love? The friendly smiles of both McKay and Chuck gave him the answer.

"I'll be in the infirmary."

SGASGASGASGA

Lorne awoke to an obviously sleep deprived Colonel Sheppard. Tired as he looked there was still a glint in his eyes and his hand was steady as he brushed a hair out of Lorne's eye.

"Tell me Major, have you ever been to Paris?"

The End


End file.
